vampires

On Teen Vampires (#1 of many, to be sure):

The Casts' "House of Night" novels aren't *quite* as bad as I thought they'd be, so far, but I'm still pretty doubtful that they'll reach anything near Rochelle Mead's "Vampire Academy" books. This may be a natural prejudice of mine for Seattlites vs. people from Oklahoma (am I really supposed to call them Okies?), but I mean, come on, do vampires belong in the Northwest or the Midwest (is Oklahoma even the Midwest?)? Clearly, enough said. The South is a different story.

Right so, that said, Marked isn't as bad as it could be. The plot, while predictable, begins to take it into better territory around p. 200 or so, when the story actually starts to have a plot rather than just being a confluence of embarrassing stereotypes. Still, unlike Vampire Academy which has a number of interesting characters (that is, relatively speaking), Marked is basically a list of caricatures, with some really unpleasant slut/whore judgments thrown in (I know there's a better term for this, and if someone could remind me of that, I'd be grateful).

So here's a little piece:

This time when we broke off the kiss we were both breathing hard, and we stared at each other. As my sense started to return to me I realized that I was totally smushed against him and that I'd been standing there in front of the dorm making out like a slut. I started to pull out of his arms.

"What's wrong? Why do you suddenly look so different?" he said, tightening his arms around me.

"Erik, I'm not like Aphrodite." I pulled harder and he let me go.

"I know you're not. I wouldn't like you if you were like her."

"I don't just mean my personality. I mean standing out here making out with you isn't normal behavior for me."

"Okay." He reached one hand toward me as though he wanted to pull me back into his arms, but then he seemed to change his mind and his hand fell to his side. "Zoey you make me feel different than anyone has ever made me feel before."

I felt my face getting hot and I couldn't tell if it was from anger or embarrassment. "Don't patronize me, Erik. I saw you in the hall with Aphrodite. You've clearly felt this kind of stuff before, and more."

He shook his head and I saw hurt in his eyes. "What Aphrodite made me feel was all physical. What you make me feel is about touching my heart. I know the difference, Zoey, and I thought you did, too."


1. Omigod, we're smushed together! I must be acting like a slut!
2. Sluts are horrible evil people! Just like people named after greek goddesses who are all about sex! Because sex is BAD!
3. Sex is BAD but there is lots of it in this story because it SELLS BOOKS!
4. and finally,
5. Omigod, if a man says he's "touching my heart," that MUST mean he's not a sleazebag! Why didn't i believe in him all along??
6. Extra points if you can guess what Erik and Aphrodite were *doing* in the hall. Nothing that our heroine would EVER consider, I'm sure.

Ok, I have much better reviews of Vampire academy. Seriously.