So you're bored at work, like me.
Things not to do when you're bored at work:
1) Eat. If you eat when you're bored at work you'll never stop eating. Aside from the obvious side effect of getting fat, this also removes all the joy from eating when you're home and actually can eat good food, not just the pastries leftover from morning meetings that are kind of gross anyway.
2) Go on craigslist and read personals. Especially when you're not even looking to date someone. Actually, no, I take that back--don't look at craigslist personals, period. Or the "best of craigslist" page. Because while it can be funny, and personals can be entertaining in their absurdity, it is ultimately depressing to read about the lives of disgruntled unhappy bored people who want sex.
4) Think about how bored you are. This only exacerbates the problem.
5) Think about life. Thinking about life always goes in a bad direction when you're sitting in an office, as opposed to sitting on, say, a beach of a tropical island.
Things to do when you're bored at work:
1) Open a bunch of files on your desk to make it look like you're doing important work while actually you're posting on your blog.
2) Do sudoku puzzles.
3) Read the newspaper.
4) Do your taxes online.
5) Read a great work of literature that you usually wouldn't have the patience for.
6) Email your friends at work in other cities far away and make pretend dinner plans.
And some things that can be good or bad, depending:
1) Shopping online. Can be fun but ultimately problematic if you a) have no money and/or b) buy stuff anyway.
2) Looking for other jobs on craigslist. Can be neccessary, but if not neccessary, ultimately depressing, and can lead to looking at other things on craigslist.
3) Drinking coffee. Better than eating because I don't believe one can get fat off a diet of coffee, tea, soup, gatorade, and champagne (a diet plan I will explain at a later time). But can be problematic because it gets you all hyped up to do. . . nothing. And it can also spoil vanilla lattes because then they remind you of work.
4) Update your facebook profile. While an update is good now and then, I wouldn't want people to realize how much time I actually do spend on the facebook.
lalala
1 comment:
If only I had known what a drag the life of an IHUM admin was! Not that it would stretch my imagination that much… But a couple days ago I could've given you a handful of my IHUM papers to grade—they would've challenged your capacity for logic more than the Sudoku puzzles. But not as much fun, I suppose—except for the very good ones and the very bad ones, but they only count for a small fraction.
Something to do when you're a TF and bored at work (besides snoop around in interesting little corners of the blogosphere):
1) Register a new AIM screenname called "youromniscientTF."
2) Print out rosters for all your sections.
3) Carefully look up each name in Facebook, one by one, adding each AIM screenname you find as one of your "buddies."
4) Go to lecture. Bring your laptop along and sit in back.
5) Turn on computer, turn off sound, and launch IM client (or whatever the hell it's called).
6) Terrorize the living bejesus out of your students one by one as they start appearing as "available" buddies. Ask them if they don't have better things to do than IM during class. Remind them that this is complicated stuff and that they should be paying close attention to what the professor is saying about Deutero-Isaiah and his significance to our understanding of the formation of the early Israelite state. Watch them quickly vanish as they become "unavailable."
7) IM an "available" football player, who readily admits to not being present in lecture, and spend 15 min. in vain trying to convince him that it really is his TF that's messing with his head and not one of his pals from the team. Finally give up, but only after encouraging him to drag his ass into lecture next time.
8) As the lecture ends, observe the wanness of some of the freshman faces as they get up to leave, sneaking a furtive, apprehensive glance to the back and wondering if "youromniscientTF" really could've been their TF.
9) Suppress laughter. Focus!
10) Print out transcript of IM with football player a few hours later as an occasional source of amusement while grinding through mind-numbing essays.
Post a Comment